Frank Watkinson, 72, lost both parents by age 11. His story reveals how trauma shapes us—and how we can find healing through creative expression.
In a candid conversation on the Inner Path Seekers podcast, the British musician opens up about childhood loss, family separation, and finding solace in music.
Frank Watkinson's voice carries the weight of seven decades, but it's his early losses that shaped the man behind the YouTube channel filled with haunting ballads and cover songs. At 72, this self-taught musician has lived 30 years longer than either of his parents ever did—a fact that both haunts and liberates him.
In a recent appearance on Jellis Vaes's Inner Path Seekers podcast, Watkinson shared his journey through profound childhood grief, family separation, and the long road to healing. His story offers insights into how early trauma can shape a life, and how creative expression can become both refuge and release.
1) 1:07 - Who did you lose?
Watkinson's Answer: "My dad died when I was nine. I remember the night he died. The week before at school I'd didn't take my PE kit and I got told off, and then the night he died was the next week for PE again and I'd got it ready and they said I didn't have to go to school but I did because I wanted to show them I'd got my PE kit... Two years later, my mom died. So I was 11... That's when I first started knowing what it was like to lose people."
2) 3:04 - How did you cope with losing both parents so young?
Watkinson's Answer: "I just went inside myself. I didn't speak if you know what I mean. When my mother died, they say I stayed in my room for about 3 days. I wasn't coming out and I was reading the same magazine over again, like a Superman book or something... I held it in. I didn't cry. And it wasn't until quite a few years later, I think I said age about 14, 15, I was in bed one night and I started thinking about them and I just burst into tears... And after that, I felt a lot better. I started coming out of myself again."
3) 5:10 - How has loss changed your perspective on life?
Watkinson's Answer: "I've got a very cynical take on grief... The older you get, it's life. We've got so much time on this planet and we don't know how long that is. So if I think about it, I'm 30 years older than my parents ever got to be... I think now I get more upset when a pet dies because I think we all know we're going to die. We all know that family members are probably going to die... But your pets you think they don't and... every day is a new day... especially with him behind me [his dog], every day is the best day of his life."
4) 12:34 - What happened to your family after your parents died?
Watkinson's Answer: "There were seven of us in the family, seven children... These relatives they took us all away. I went to live with an auntie... 250 miles away and a sister went the opposite direction and another brother went a different direction... If you're used to living with brothers and sisters and then we wake up the next morning in a different town and they're gone. It was a bit... it's a lot of change. That's probably why I think I went very withdrawn for quite a few years... But we all made our way back. As we got older, we all found our way back. Two of them, it took nearly 30 years, but we found each other."
5) 21:01 - What helped you get through those early days?
Watkinson's Answer: "I think it was music. I think I lost myself into... I've just always liked... any young person really pop music mostly all the time but sort of pop music but I've always been a slow... I've always been a ballad person... I think the guitar is like an escape... It's like another friend. You can be really upset, pick up the guitar and just make yourself feel a bit better by playing. Could be happy, pick it up, make yourself even happier by playing... I think I'd go mad if I didn't have something like that."
6) 25:21 - Has loss brought any unexpected insights to your life?
Watkinson's Answer: "It made me look at things differently, a lot differently. I don't worry about lots of tiny things... it does make you think look life's too short for that, life's too short to argue and fight over little little things and I do hate to see families argue... I remember years ago friend of mine... was having an argument with his dad because the music was too loud... he turned around to me and goes, 'God, I'll be glad when he's dead.' And that hit me hard... I said, 'You don't know what you're saying. I'll do anything to be shouted at by my dad.'"
7) 28:41 - What do you wish people understood about grief?
Watkinson's Answer: "I think a lot of people need to understand that everybody grieves in a different way... Some people, like me, when I was younger, they'll go quiet, probably mourn for a week or two. Other people, they just party. Let's have a party... we're not all the same... Everyone has got their own way of doing it. And nobody can tell you you're doing it wrong."
8) 31:00 - What would you tell someone who just lost someone?
Watkinson's Answer: "It gets easier... time is a great healer and it does get easier. I think when you've lost someone you're just thinking of the sadness... But as the time goes on, you don't feel so much sad anymore because you start remembering all the good things before then... the longer it goes on, you can concentrate on the good times you had... I don't even think about my parents now at that part of my life where... they died... I just think of the times we had before that."
9) 34:06 - How do you channel your grief now?
Watkinson's Answer: "I think that's why I write so many sad songs. That's where I get rid of it as well... I'll do the sad songs and let my grief away in that... You've got to use it for your benefit and not let the pain control you. But it's hard to say when it's just happened... some people might do painting. They might go in a room, start painting. Other ones might be into sports... Something to... if you don't do anything with that pain, it just turns into suffering. But if you do something with that pain, like in your case, turn it into music... it becomes something else."
In-Depth Summary
Frank Watkinson's story illuminates the profound impact of childhood loss and the long journey toward healing. Orphaned by age 11 and separated from his six siblings, Watkinson's early trauma led to years of emotional withdrawal and silence. His experience reveals several critical insights about grief and recovery:
The Individuality of Grief: Watkinson emphasizes that grief manifests differently for everyone. His own pattern—years of suppressed emotion followed by a cathartic release at age 14 or 15—challenges conventional timelines for mourning. His observation that "everybody grieves in a different way" and "nobody can tell you you're doing it wrong" offers validation for those whose grief doesn't follow expected patterns.
Creative Expression as Healing: Music became Watkinson's primary coping mechanism and continues to serve as both refuge and release. His description of the guitar as "like another friend" and his practice of channeling grief into "sad songs" demonstrates how creative outlets can transform pain into something meaningful. This aligns with research showing that artistic expression can provide emotional regulation and meaning-making in the face of loss.
Perspective Shifts Through Time: Having lost his parents at such a young age, Watkinson developed a unique perspective on mortality and priorities. His realization that he's lived "30 years older than my parents ever got to be" reflects a complex relationship with survival and time. His observation about grieving pets more than people—because animals live purely in the present—reveals sophisticated thinking about consciousness and mortality.
Family Reconstruction: The eventual reunion of the Watkinson siblings after decades of separation demonstrates resilience and the enduring nature of family bonds. The 30-year search that culminated in a phone call from a sister-in-law shows how trauma can scatter families but doesn't necessarily destroy them permanently.
The Evolution of Memory: Watkinson's description of gradually recovering positive memories of his parents—after years of blocked recollections—illustrates how grief processing can unlock suppressed experiences. His shift from dwelling on the sadness of death to cherishing pre-loss memories represents a mature stage of grief integration.
Practical Wisdom: His advice about the healing power of time, while potentially difficult for the newly bereaved to accept, reflects decades of lived experience. His emphasis on finding outlets for pain—whether through music, art, or other pursuits—offers concrete guidance for channeling grief constructively.
Watkinson's story ultimately suggests that while early trauma can profoundly shape a life, it need not define it entirely. Through creative expression, time, and the gradual reconstruction of meaning, even the most devastating losses can be integrated into a life worth living. His YouTube channel, filled with ballads that transform personal pain into shared beauty, stands as testament to grief's potential for creative transformation.
