I said excuses, uh, at the end…
That song was requested probably two years ago or maybe longer, from someone—I think he lived in Texas. And I said, um, I wouldn’t be able to play that classical-type intro to it. It would take me longer to learn that and do it without making a mistake.
And then the song... then I’ve probably got, um... And then later on, I started getting more requests for it. Every now and then, you get this request for Nothing Else Matters.
I still wasn’t going to do it, and then, um, the other night, I was watching a TV show—I can’t remember what it was now—and it came on without the classical intro. It was a woman singing it. So I thought, well, if it can go on TV without the intro, then I’ll do it.
And, um, for the really good guitarists out there, I didn’t play the chords that they usually play. Most people use E, E minor, D, and C. I changed it to A minor, G, and F because that suits my way of singing.
Like I’ve said a million times before, I’m no guitarist anyway, so it’s just the best I could do it.
Anyway, that’s why I did it without the intro, and that’s how I did it.
So, I haven’t told a joke for ages. In fact, I haven’t had a chance to talk for ages, because, quite a little while ago—I don’t know if you remember—my wife retired. And, uh, it made it a lot harder for me to just sit and talk because she thinks I’m talking about her. But she’s in the garden at the moment.
We got a new shed, and she’s turned it into a summer house. It’s like heaven. Anyway, I don’t know why she’s in there—it’s not summer, it’s bloody freezing here.
Anyway, a joke before I go. So, it’s not a dirty joke... well, some people might think it is. Anyway, so this man gets on an airplane flight, and he sits next to this woman. And the flight takes off, and as it takes off, the woman sneezes. And after she sneezes, she just shivers like mad for quite a while.
He thought that was strange. Anyway, a little while later, she sneezes again, and she’s shivering all over again. And then, um, as the flight goes on, she’s doing it every time she sneezes.
In the end, he just says, “Excuse me, I don’t want to appear too nosy, but are you okay?” And she says, “Why?” He says, “Well, every time you sneeze, you just shudder.”
And she goes, “Yes, I’ve got something a bit wrong with me—it’s a bit strange. But every time I sneeze, I orgasm.”
And he went, “Wow.” He says, “Are you taking anything for it?” And she says, “Yeah, a little bit of pepper.”
Okay, I thought it was funny. Alright, so I’ll see you all later. One day, probably. Probably should cut out the bad jokes—I don’t know. I do like a bad joke. I’m old; I like the old ones.
Alright, see you later. He’s gone back to sleep. Bye.
